Finding that one person to be your best friend and partner for life is the most beautiful thing in the world. However, in today’s world, where much of life, and dating, has gone online, it can be quite frustrating to figure out how serious your relationship is and whether it would last.
A major reason for this is that guys are known to give mixed signals, which can be confusing. While some are fine with displaying their emotions, most guys find it difficult to express what they feel.
It’s not impossible to decipher what he is trying to tell you. Here are some ways to figure out what your guy wants from you.
Determine What You Want
To figure out what a guy wants from you, figure out what you want from the relationship. They say you have to be the right person to find the right person. So, before you go questioning the intentions of any guy in your life, question what you want first.
If the reason behind dating is to fill in a void left by a previous toxic relationship or loneliness, you’ll end up with a relationship with the sole purpose of being a filler. Rather, ensure that you have healed from any prior relationship before entering a new one, even if you’re just casually seeing someone.
As cliche as it sounds, you need to be happy alone before someone else can make you happy. You can read more here to determine whether you’re ready for a relationship or not.
He Lets You Meet His Friends and Family
If a guy brings you into his inner circle, it’s obvious that he is serious about you. If he didn’t like you, he would keep you away from his friends and family at all costs. He wouldn’t go through the inconvenience of organizing a get-together with you and his loved ones if he didn’t genuinely see potential in the relationship.
Of course, avoiding having you meet his loved ones doesn’t mean that he doesn’t like you. He could just be taking the relationship slow to see how things work out between the two of you.
However, if he has been regularly avoiding introducing you to his family and friends, it could mean that he’s not serious about you. You can read more on this topic in this article.
Assess Where You Spend Time
You can tell what a guy wants from you by how he chooses to spend time with you. Does he take you out on a date? Does he only want to see you at night? Is he only interested in drinking with you? Does he take you to coffee to get to know you better? These are the questions you need to be asking while reflecting on the time you spend together.
Time is the most fragile, yet significant, thing you can give someone. This is also the reason why it can tell you what position you hold in their life. If all they want from you is to spend a ‘Netflix and chill’ date with them, then they might not be that serious about you. When a guy likes you for who you are and isn’t just infatuated with you, they’ll do everything they can to get to know you better.
Assess the Flow of Conversation
This is vital in figuring out what he wants from you. Just because you have the chemistry, it doesn’t mean that you’ll be compatible, as well. The flow of conversation determines the substance and depth of your potential relationship. It’s also what hooks a guy to get to know you better. If there’s a lack of compatibility, you’ll know it right away during initial conversations.
If you have figured out that the conversation is mainly small talk or is sexual in nature, you already know what he expects from you. However, if he confides in you and tells you things that are personal in nature, he’s probably more into you than you originally thought. Guys are hesitant to show their vulnerable side when compared to women, so when they do confide in you, they must really like you.
Has He Told You What He Wants?
When a guy tells you that he is not looking for a serious relationship, he is not ready, or he just wants a no-strings-attached relationship, believe them. Stop the need to change their minds. It doesn’t work that way and it’s not your responsibility to do so. We often get frustrated because we are busy trying to decode their “mixed” signals when it’s clear from the very start.
You can’t force someone to commit themselves, especially if they aren’t ready. If he has told you what he wants right at the beginning, believe him.
Is He Ready for A Relationship?
If he has just come out of a failed long-term relationship, you can’t expect him to enter into a serious relationship with you. As mentioned earlier, he won’t be ready to commit if he is dating just to fill a void in his life. This will only happen once he’s healed from that relationship and dealt with any leftover issues arising from it.
Otherwise, if you force yourself in his life, you might end up being a temporary fix for all the issues and baggage he’s trying to get away from.
Regardless of what he wants from you, things will be difficult if he and you are not on the same page when it comes to what you want from a relationship.
His Actions Match His Words
A lot of guys are all about flowery words, but do not back it up with their actions. You can be sure of what a guy wants from you if their actions speak as loud as their words. If they say they’re serious about you, the effort and time spent with you and compromises made, should show it.
A guy would never sacrifice or compromise anything if he’s not serious about you. When a guy is interested in knowing you, it will show in the actions he does, like asking you on dates, giving you surprise gifts, or even handwritten letters. These little things will help you determine what he wants from you, whether it’s just friendship or something more.
He’s Considerate towards You
At the beginning of any relationship, there’s a stage called the honeymoon phase where you’re overwhelmed with infatuation, desire, attraction, and even love. What happens when this passes is what determines how your relationship will progress.
If someone is considerate and cares about your feelings and thoughts, they’re interested in you. When you don’t care about someone, all you think about is your own selfish gain. On the other hand, when someone interests you enough, you want to make them happy, in whatever way possible.
So, when he does things to benefit you, even if it’s inconvenient for him, that’s when you can confirm that it’s real. You can read more about it in this article.
He Wants to Dive into Your Mind
Yes, looks do matter. However, if a guy is genuinely interested in you, physical attraction won’t suffice – he’ll want something more. If he is serious, he’ll want to know your thoughts, opinions, mindsets, and everything else about you.
As they say, you can know a person from what’s in their mind. So, when a guy wants to decipher your thoughts, you’ll know he genuinely finds you interesting. He will initiate deep conversations with you and want to know why your mind works the way it does.
He Breaks the Touch Barrier
If he’s interested in you, he’ll want to be as near to you as possible and he will find ways to touch you. Gestures such as holding your hand, guiding you when crossing the street, or putting his arm around you casually all tell you that you matter to him.
Although these gestures can be mixed, regardless of whether there is a genuine attraction or it’s just infatuation, he would not be too close to you if he weren’t interested in you.
Want to know if the attraction is genuine? Watch out for these simple gestures that allow him to be close to you.
He isn’t Casual about You
There’s a thin line that separates hanging out from dating. When he’s straightforward about his intentions for you and indicates that he wants it to be exclusive, you can tell he’s serious about you.
Although guys are known to be straightforward, if his words match his actions, you can tell that he’s not just playing around. When a guy is serious about pursuing you, he won’t screw that up by breaking your trust and reliability.
Takeaway
I hope you have a better idea about how you can tell what a guy wants from you. While guys can be confusing with their mixed signals, these are concrete signs that can help you determine what they really feel for you.
If you find that they don’t check several of the items in this list, they may not be as into you as you hope them to be and you are better off finding someone else.
Guys are difficult to decipher at first but once you get through that stage, they’re direct at portraying their feelings, especially when they like someone.