How to Make a Woman Want You: Lady Science 101

how to make a woman want you

If you asked a guy you met on the street how to make a woman want you, he’d probably shrug and declare it a mystery. Fortunately, you’ve come to a source that’s better equipped to handle such a question.

If you only learn one thing today, let it be that women are no different than anyone else. They’re human beings, not aliens, so you shouldn’t need any special tools to decipher their behavior.

Over the years, people have convinced themselves that men and women are intrinsically different. There are articles upon articles about things women want men to know and vice versa as though we’re all purposely hiding these things from each other.

However, once you understand the fundamental truth that we’re all human beings, everything will become much clearer. With that in mind, let’s talk about how you can best approach the woman who caught your eye.

How to Make a Woman Want You: The Modern Gentleman’s Guide

As there are several ways to approach any problem, there will be several ways to approach the woman you’re after. Throughout this guide, remember that you’ll have to adapt almost every tip to your specific circumstances. However, this first one is all about you!

Confidence Is Key

If you’re wondering how to make a woman want you, you’ve probably had enough of people telling you to just be confident. So let’s talk about what confidence is, how you can work on it, and why it’ll help you score a date.

To put it simply, being confident means that you believe in yourself wholeheartedly. It means that you know where you’re coming from and where you’re going. But how do you get there? Well, if you’re going by this definition, you’ll first have to be able to understand your past and current behavior.

Of course, personal development often takes a lot of work! Depending on your circumstances, you might even require therapy — and there’s no shame in that. Ultimately, knowing yourself on a deeper level will always be worth it, even if you don’t get together with the girl you like.

On the other hand, it’s also important to have some idea of where you’re going — what you want in life. Do you want to write a book, try a new sport, develop a business idea? Find something you love and work on it. There’s nothing sexier than a man who’s passionate about his work (or hobby)!

True confidence only comes from knowing who you are and where you’re heading. Anything else is arrogance, which is a fairly repellent trait by most people’s standards.

Pay Attention

Once you’re comfortable in your own skin, you can start worming your way under hers. How do you do that? There’s no secret to it: you’ll have to treat her like a human being. You should have seen that coming!

Basically, talk to her. Discover her likes and dislikes, but don’t make it seem like you’re interviewing her. Conversations should be a give and take — don’t take too much, but don’t give too much either. There’s nothing worse than a man who won’t stop talking about himself.

You should always try to keep the conversation going by asking questions that come up naturally. And don’t stop there — do your best to remember what your crush is saying. There’s the gist of it: men who pay attention are hot. When you’re ready to step it up a notch, you can start flirting with her.

Be Fun and Flirtatious

Unfortunately, no one can tell you when’s the best time to start being more forward with your advances. That’s something you’ll have to gauge on a case-by-case basis. However, if you’re only just learning how to make a woman want you, that might be particularly challenging for you.

Still, you should follow some common-sense rules. For example, don’t hit on her at her place of work or if she’s your subordinate. Don’t catcall her on her way to work. These are all unacceptable behaviors that will get you absolutely nowhere.

Fortunately, it’s never a bad time to make your exchanges with a woman more fun. You can pretty much start cracking jokes immediately upon introducing yourself, and that’s only a step away from flirting. In fact, joking with a woman can tell you a lot about her. On top of that, it’ll also provide more insight into the kind of chemistry you’ll have in other areas.

At some point, you’ll find that your relationship is ready to progress to the flirting stage. And remember, that can be anywhere from five seconds upon meeting to weeks or months after. Still, when that time comes, just be your charming self.

Share inside jokes with her, smile, touch her arm as you speak. Throw in a few curveballs in your text exchanges. Send her songs and memes you think she’ll like. Make sure every interaction is a good one — but leave her wanting more.

Can’t Buy Me Love

At this point, there’s one thing we ought to clear up. Traditionally, men have felt the brunt of the financial burden of courtships (and relationships). But that dynamic has shifted along with the old misconceptions about women being from another planet.

If you’re a man of means, you might be tempted to use your wealth to win over your crush’s affections. But before you prepare to shower her with gifts, take a moment to ask her if she’s into that. To be fair — the woman you like may even appreciate that kind of approach.

Getting her a meaningful gift can remind her that you’ve been paying attention to her when she speaks, which can be a turn-on. But you can’t expect to get something in return for your financial expenses. That’s exactly why so many women don’t want guys to spend money on them. Sometimes, it just makes them feel indebted to the man in question.

So if you still feel the need to bring the lady a trinket, go for something small. A flower here and a cup of coffee there would probably be acceptable to everyone involved. But now that we’ve gone over this point, there’s only one thing left to do.

Be Open About What You Want

Now that you’re on your way to understanding how to make a woman want you, it’s time to take the next crucial step. Some people will tell you to remain cool toward a woman till the bitter end. They’ll say that it’s best to not reveal your intentions. But in the spirit of everything you’ve already learned, here’s another lesson for you: the women you’re looking for will share your intentions.

If your goal is to take the woman you like out on a date — tell her that. Or, rather, ask her out. Most women appreciate a bit of vulnerability at that moment, as long as you’re not being manipulative. So figure out an activity you’d both enjoy and suggest it.

Alternatively, if you’re mainly in it for sex, there are plenty of women who want the same thing. There’s no need to waste time on women who don’t want what you’re offering. But don’t immediately assume that the woman you’re hung up on wouldn’t be down to mess around.

Ultimately, you can express your interest in many different ways. These days, you can get your point across by sending a text, having a heart-to-heart, or doing something else altogether. Again, you’ll want to consider the preferences of the woman you like before making your move.

Throw Down the Gauntlet

So you’ve made your intentions clear — what now? Well, you could make it more interesting by making her chase after you, too.

By this point, you should have laid the groundwork to make her want you, so more prodding shouldn’t be necessary. If you have made her feel comfortable and expressed your interest, the ball should be in her court. Besides, leaving a woman wanting is always a good thing.

Of course, that’s not to say that you should be toying with her emotions. This period of limbo between asking a girl out (or what have you) and getting her response can be stressful. Some men get so frustrated that they blurt out things they inevitably regret… But you’re way past negging, aren’t you?

Instead of insulting the woman you’re attracted to for not responding to your declaration quickly enough, challenge her to keep your interactions going. For example, you can say something like, “I’ve been having so much fun with you, and I’d love to keep things going. I’d love to see you initiate our conversations more often.”

Or, if you’ve already been out on a date, you could say, “I can’t wait to see you plan our next date” — with a smirk or a winky emoji.

Keeping the tone light will let her know that you’re still interested in her, even as she’s mulling over her decision. However, you should also make it clear that you won’t always be the one taking the initiative. After all, talking to someone who never joins in the conversation is no fun!

Read the Room

While you’re making your romantic overtures, it’s important to keep a close eye on the way your crush responds to your efforts. After all, there are so many ways this whole thing could go wrong. But then, that’s why you wanted to learn how to make a woman want you. If nothing else, at least you’ll avoid the most obvious mistakes.

By now, you probably know most of them. Don’t be cocky unless you’re doing it to be funny and have made that clear. Focus on what the lady is saying — don’t let your mind wander in the middle of the conversation or interrupt her. Be direct, but not inappropriately forward.

It may be difficult, but you’ll have to get used to toeing those lines. After all, these little complexities are what being human is all about.

So how can you know when you’ve really stepped in it during a conversation? Well, if you pay attention to the woman you’re talking to like you’re supposed to, you should be able to recognize a misstep immediately. Keep your eyes peeled for nonverbal cues and body language. If she physically distances herself from you or crosses her arms or legs, you may be in trouble.

Even before she gives off these overt signals, you’ll see more subtle signs that she’s sick of you, if that’s the case. She may frown, roll her eyes, and generally look for a way to escape the conversation. Now, if you’re cocky, these things may not even register with you. Fortunately, there are easy ways to know if you’ve succeeded in making your crush want you.

How Can You Tell If a Woman Wants You?

Simply researching how to make a woman want you doesn’t guarantee results. The application of these tips will be entirely up to you and there’s no accounting for good old-fashioned chemistry. But even if everything goes according to plan, how do you know whether a woman is just being friendly or flirting?

Your Banter Is Sexually Charged

Having a good rapport with someone is a fantastic basis for any kind of relationship. If a woman really likes you, she’ll show it by spending more time with you or texting you more frequently. The whole point of learning how to make a woman want you is to make the girl you like feel comfortable around you.

But of course, you could develop a fun repartee with pretty much anyone — it doesn’t mean that they’ll want to date you. So there are some additional indicators you might want to pay attention to. For example, it’s particularly encouraging if your banter with a woman includes double entendres or a certain kind of tension.

Even teasing each other can be a good sign as long as it doesn’t cross the line. There’s a difference between sexy banter and letting her dunk on you at every opportunity. Unless the woman you like has a snarky kind of personality, that kind of ribbing might indicate that she’s trying to get rid of you.

You Get Into Serious Topics

If your goal is to get a woman to consider you a contender for a serious relationship, you’ll need more than witty banter. You’ll know if you’re being taken into consideration if she starts telling you about the more serious aspects of her life as well.

Then again, discussing things like her family history could still be taken as a friendly action. So you’ll have to take all of these things into consideration when you’re trying to determine whether she likes you. Most importantly, you’ll have to look at the nonverbal cues she’s sending.

Her Body Language Is Revealing Her Attraction

Ultimately, the only way you’ll be able to distinguish between friendly conversations and flirty ones is by looking at nonverbal cues. There are plenty of things that might indicate that the lady you like returns your feelings. To begin with, she’ll probably subconsciously mirror your behavior.

Additionally, she might keep turning toward you or catching your eye even during group conversations. When you’re alone, she might smile, touch you, and glance at your lips more than she usually does.

Now That You Know How to Make a Woman Want You

Having learned how to make a woman want you, there’s only one more thing for you to do — spread the news. We can’t have a bunch of grown men thinking that there’s some deeper mystery at play here, as so many still do. So if you hear your friends espousing the macho “women are different species” idea, set them straight and point them this way!

Nicole Middleton
Nicole calls herself a typical millennial girl and thrives on her share of social media, celebrity gossip, and all things viral content. She’s a big fan of pop music and plays the guitar as a hobby.