As a guy looking for ways to improve your love life, the first and most important thing is to understand what is expected of you and how you can make your girlfriend feel loved and cared for. In this article, I will give you 10 essential tips on how to be a better boyfriend and also tell you how you can know if you are a great boyfriend.
What Does It Mean to Be a Good Boyfriend?
Although every woman has her own definition of a good boyfriend, based on her desires, experiences, and preferences, there are several traits that most women look for when choosing a man to be intimate with.
Generally, a good boyfriend listens to her girlfriend actively, kind to her and other people, empathetic, committed to her and the relationship and communicates constructively and creatively. Based on these traits, do you think you are a good boyfriend?
Quiz – Are You a Good Boyfriend?
Based on the traits I have discussed above, do you think you are a good boyfriend? To help you answer this question conclusively, I have come up with a simple quiz. The quiz consists of simple questions about how you treat your girlfriend.
For every question, you should choose whether you behave in this manner often, sometimes, or never.
Often equals 5 points, sometimes equals 3 points, and never equals 0 points.
At the end of the test, you will know whether you are a better boyfriend or not.
1. Do I criticize my girlfriend for her appearance, behavior, and personal opinions?
2. Do I respect my girlfriend’s decisions, even when I do not agree with them?
3. Do I compromise on decisions instead of trying to get my way?
4. Do I communicate openly and honestly with my girlfriend?
5. Do I accuse my girlfriend of causing my bad mood even when it is not true?
6. Do I read texts from other people from my girlfriend’s phone?
7. Do I try to make my girlfriend feel guilty for things or situations she has no control over?
8. Do I make fun of my girlfriend or put her down?
9. Do I find it hard to listen to my partner when something is bothering her?
10. Do I take out my frustrations on my partner?
11. Do I talk down or embarrass my girlfriend in front of people?
12. Do I say hurtful things to my partner?
13. Do I trust my partner?
14. Do I thank my girlfriend when she does something nice to me?
How to Be a Better Boyfriend
1. Be an Active Listener.
Every woman loves to be listened to actively. Unfortunately, most men don’t know how to be good listeners. Listening doesn’t mean just nodding along when your girlfriend is talking; it’s showing genuine interest in what she is telling you and allowing her to say it without interrupting.
Therefore, if you want to be a better boyfriend, you have to practice active listening by allowing your girlfriend to say her piece no matter how small or irrelevant you think it is. Failure to listen to your girlfriend shows disrespect and kills intimacy. So, always listen to her without interrupting, playing devil’s advocate, or one-upping.
2. Be Committed.
For most women, lack of commitment is an absolute deal-breaker. They want someone who will factor them into their present and future plans. So, unless you are not sure about the relationship, never make your girlfriend feel put on the back burner.
The best way to show commitment to the relationship is to make her your priority by including her in your plans, introducing her to your friends and family, and not keeping your relationship a secret.
You also have to be faithful to your partner and make sure you are not engaging in actions that may be construed to mean infidelity like kissing and disrespectful flirting. Like a good boyfriend, you should make your boundaries clear and stick to them.
3. Be Empathetic.
What do you do when your relationship hits a rough patch? Most relationships fail because partners lack empathy. When they are involved in an argument, they will say and do anything without caring about their partner’s feelings.
If you want to be a great boyfriend, you have to master the art of being empathetic towards your lover. Showing empathy doesn’t necessarily mean not telling your girlfriend she is wrong, rather it’s being able to listen to her actively, putting yourself in her shoes, and expressing genuine care and concern.
4. Be a Constructive Communicator.
In every relationship, there comes a time when you encounter difficulties and you find yourselves not moving as a pair. The easiest and most effective way to get out of this situation is to have open, honest, and constructive communication. Such a discussion should be devoid of blame games and heated arguments.
When you are having this conversation, try as much as possible to frame your statements using the “I” language. This helps to avoid casting aspersions and fostering deeper intimacy. Always view your discussions as a pathway to mutual understanding, satisfaction, and growth.
5. Be Kind.
For your relationship to be successful, you need to be kind to each other. Therefore, you have to care for your partner, making sure that they know they can count on you for anything. Even when she has wronged, let her know you are not happy with her actions without disrespecting her.
Your girlfriend also wants you to be kind to other people. Women are quickly turned off by men who are rude to other people. So, if you want her to have the best assessment of you, change how you treat other people. She will also pay close attention to how you treat her close friends and family members.
How to Be a Better Long-Distance Boyfriend
Most people are afraid of getting into long-distance relationships because they believe they never work. But a long-distance relationship can have its own wonders if you are willing to commit to it and put in the work. Here are some useful tips to help you become a better long-distance boyfriend:
1. Avoid unnecessary communication.
By having long, unnecessary conversations with your girlfriend every day, you are only exhausting yourself and your partner. It’s not about calling her every other minute asking the same old questions, rather it’s about teasing her and choosing the right moments to do so.
2. Communicate regularly and creatively.
It is important to communicate with your girlfriend regularly and creatively. For instance, it is good to greet her good morning and good night every day, as well as try to update her on your life and current happenings, no matter how mundane they seem.
3. Set ground rules.
It is important to let your girlfriend know what you expect of her during a long-distance relationship. This means setting some ground rules and agreeing on how you should proceed with the relationship.
4. Talk dirty with your girlfriend.
Keep the flames of love and desire burning by sending your girlfriend texts, audio, and video clips filled with sexual intimations and provocative imageries. Sexy jokes also work pretty well.
5. Have fun together.
With the current technological advances, it is possible to have fun with your girlfriend even when you are far apart. For instance, you can play online games, stream movies and TV shows together, sing to each other on a video call, take a walk outside while video-calling each other, and many more.
Things to Avoid as a Boyfriend
1. Never pick a part of her looks.
As a boyfriend, you should never pick a part of your girlfriend’s looks. Doing so makes her feel bad and lose confidence in herself. However, you should also take the initiative to help her look better by encouraging her to work out and eat healthy foods.
2. Never invade her privacy.
Although you should never hide things from each other, including texts, social media chats, and emails, it is total disrespect to snoop through your girlfriend’s texts and messages when she leaves her cellphone or computer around. Doing so is a sign of insecurity and a pointer to your own infidelities.
3. Never make her feel like an afterthought.
While it is practically impossible to commit your whole life to your girlfriend, it is very important to always assure her of your total devotion. Even though it is okay to have your own time, do not make her feel like you are knocking her further down your priority list. Nobody wants to feel like they are alone in the relationship.
4. Never disrespect her.
The biggest mistake you can do as a boyfriend is to disrespect your girlfriend. Never attempt to condescend or put her down, especially in front of other people, regardless of her intelligence level or professional position. Always find ways to let your girlfriend know she is in the wrong without making her feel insulted.
5. Never abuse her.
Most people think that abuse only happens when you physically assault someone. But there are many forms of abuse, especially in relationships. It is very easy to be emotionally abusive towards your girlfriend without even realizing it. So, always choose your words carefully, even when you are having an argument with your partner.
Quotes About How to Be a Better Boyfriend
If you are looking for a little inspiration to become the man that every woman wants to date, here are some inspirational quotes about how to be a better boyfriend.
1. “Mocking a woman is like drinking too much wine. It may be fun for a short time, but the hangover is hell.” – Brandon Sanderson
2. “If I were straight and I was trying to seduce a woman, I could do it just by standing up at the table when she came back from the bathroom. It works. Every time I do that, all the straight men are sitting at the table and their wives are kicking them. “Look at that!” “You never do that for me!” – Tom Ford
3. “How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.” – Oscar Wilde
4. “You like a woman, she’s got kids, it’s a package. You can’t just go in one-sided.” – Ice Cube
5. “I’m willing to die for the woman I love. I just want to take 75 years to do it.” – Jarod Kintz
6. “I hate if a man says anything laddy. ‘You’re sexy’ or whatever. I just want someone to be friendly and a little bit flirty.” – Kimberley Garner
7. “When you meet women, don’t pretend to be anything that you’re not.” – Ralph Fiennes
8. “Give her a relationship where you can act like idiots, talk about the most random stuff, share music and never get tired of each other.” – Hplyrikz.
9. “A gentleman knows when to call her sexy and when to tell her she looks beautiful.” – Hplyrikz.
10. “Never let her feel lonely, especially when you’re there.” – Hplyrikz.
If you have been struggling to make relationships work, these tips will definitely teach you how to be a better boyfriend and perhaps find someone to settle down with eventually. I also hope that you have learned something useful about how to treat a woman better.